Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

I couldn't cover as much as 5% of what is wrong and disappointing with this film in 280 characters.

Abe accomplishes action above Argo, albeit with an absence of adequate acting.

Forget Daniel Day Lewis' portrayal of Lincoln. I liked this dumb patriotic action flick that has it all from poorly delivered speeches of freedom to the emancipation of the slaves and obviously vampires. Bonus drinking game: Take a swig whenever Lincoln dispatches a nightcrawler.

This is the world that Van Helsing has given us. Far too much use of the speed up/slow down technique and a CGI budget stretched so thin as to be almost useless. I don't know if there was a single practical effect in the whole picture. Barely passable.

It had a beginning, middle, and end. The characters all had names. It was interestingly composed, and there was a story. It was terrible, and great. I was at once thinking 'I am having such fun' and 'This is among the worst movies I have seen.' I loved it, would not recommend it