The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)

I debated whether to publicly reveal that I watched this. This concludes my viewing of every Twilight film. I could not leave the last one unwatched. I was past the point of no return. I still think I liked this movie more than I should have, and I gave it a terrible score.

Remember when vampires were scary and not dating high school-students? This movie was idiotic. Reminds me of the spork: a rather useless piece of cutlery... Since some are obtuse enough to buy them, I'm now launching the spife... I'm Darwinian that way... You may genuflect.

A horrible, lurching comical mess. Half the cast take themselves way to seriously, while stand outs in the other half ham it up with delightfully comical performances that simply can't be anything but intentionally cartoonish. Predictably absurd, and entertaining for it.

Jacob still has really straight teeth, I don't know how they're that white. Also he's in love with a baby. Some people stand around, and then a thing doesn't happen. Pointless, terrible, hilarious.