Iron Man 3 (2013)
The ending made no sense at all. Without spoiling the movie (which i really should do to prevent anybody else spending money to watch this in theaters) why wasn't "operation party house" available in the beginning of the movie? Like when he was being attacked by helicopters?
May 29, 2013
The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)
I have never watched the TV show and after watching this I still probably wont. It is a predictable movie that is very hit or miss. However, the hits are golden.
May 27, 2013
Olympus Has Fallen (2013)
A little too pro-america for my taste. I came out feeling like any other country, other than america, is super evil and is trying to take away my freedom! (Spoiler alert: i miss the good old fashion Russia vs America battles.)
May 13, 2013
Django Unchained (2012)
I thought that Christoph Waltz was the best part of Inglorious Basterds, and he again was amazing in this film. I will say that this is probably because Tarantino excels in quirky, and is one of a very few number of people out there who can write for him. Only beef was the length
January 2, 2013
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
A really poor film in my opinion. The characters were weak, there was an overuse of CGI and there was a weird santa-like creature who had bird shit in his hair and instead of flying reindeer he was carried by über-fast rabbits.
January 2, 2013
Battleship (2012)
Executive: "so transformers made a shit ton of money, what other hasbro game is out there that we can force people to watch by giving it special effects flowing out of it's ass and Liam Neeson..."
September 17, 2012
Total Recall (2012)
Not as good as the original in my opinion, but Kate Beckinsale is fucking hot and a fucking bad ass.
August 3, 2012
Total Recall (1990)
The first set of boobies i ever saw on screen was the infamous "triboob". It probably explains a lot about my weird sexual fantasies.
August 3, 2012
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
The only thing I think that is left to be said about the Trilogy that Nolan built, is where it stands against the greats.
July 22, 2012
The Damned United (2009)
A really good depiction of the rise and fall of Brain Clough. If you are a fan of football/soccer, this is a really good movie to watch.
July 17, 2012
School of Rock (2003)
I am a white, middle class and male. Thus my tenure at high school was spent listening to led zep, pink floyd and other rock bands. It was enjoyable "reliving" my high school days through the soundtrack of this movie.
July 17, 2012
Black Knight (2001)
Jurassic Park, Forest Gump and 2001 are movies that have stood the test of time. This is not one of those movies, and it is amazing at how dated it feels 11 years later.
July 17, 2012
Blades of Glory (2007)
If you have seen a silly Ferrell movie, you have seen this movie.
July 16, 2012
BASEketball (1998)
There was a time in America when contests of athletic prowess were a metaphor for the nobility of man. Historic moments forged by the love of the game celebrated the human potential to achieve excellence.
July 4, 2012
Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011)
An interesting movie with a great duo. The first half is kinda slow and seemingly pointless, but it comes together nicely at the end and leaves you feeling satisfied.
June 25, 2012
Face/Off (1997)
The only problem i have with these types of movies (freaky friday, the chage-up etc...) is that the actor has to play two different characters, and they usually end up playing just a different version of themself. Face/off is probably the best body-switch movie to date though.
June 21, 2012
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
A great 80's movie. While the dialogue was mediocre at best, the story kept your interest and the old school kung fu fights are a pleasure to watch. Plus grown-up-asian-sidekick shortstop is a bad ass.
June 21, 2012
21 Jump Street (2012)
Better than I thought it would be. I am a fan of buddy-cop movies and this one hit the right notes. The story was lacking in some areas, but that is to be expected with a movie like this.
June 18, 2012
The Grey (2011)
I was expecting Taken but with Liam Neeson in the wild. It is not Taken with Liam Neeson in the wild. Which is ok, but tough to sit through if you aren't in the right mind set.
June 15, 2012
The Change-Up (2011)
Please do not watch this movie. I would like to think that I suffered through 112 minutes of garbage so that I can warn the rest of the world of how bad this movie was. This is my good deed of the month, please do not let it be in vain.
June 14, 2012
Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
Taking a 5 minute kids book and trying to make it 2 hours is a challenge that they did not pull off. This was such a boring movie. A waste of my time.
May 31, 2012
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
This movie just really didn't do it for me. I thought that it was a decent idea that was poorly executed. I got bored of the characters and once you saw what was going on, it was a matter of just waiting out the inevitable.
May 28, 2012
The Hunger Games (2012)
Visually I was very impressed with the movie. I thought they did a good job with trying to distinguish each district. The only problem I found was that i couldn't really connect with the main character and I felt like I would have enjoyed it more if I had read the books.
May 25, 2012
Con Air (1997)
If i were french, I would rename this movie to Tres Bon Air.... as in very good air... because the movie is very good.
May 17, 2012
Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
This was one bad ass movie. It followed the graphic novel "Batman Hush" story line and delivered one hell of a story line. A good arrangement of characters. Plus Doogie Howser was nightwing.
May 9, 2012
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
I now watch this movie every sunday night to insure I get to sleep in good time.
May 8, 2012
Happy Gilmore (1996)
How can a man who had an in-air-arm-wrestle with Arnie in Predator fall so hard? I mean he only has one hand now. So sad.
May 8, 2012
Lockout (2012)
This is a tough movie to rate because it was super budget and the plot / dialogue was just brutal. On the other hand Guy Pierce was hilarious, a bad ass and gentleman all at the same time. A rare trifecta in movies. I would recommend watching this one on DVD.
April 26, 2012
Quantum of Solace (2008)
There were some sweet action scenes, and not a whole lot else. A pretty big flop in my opinion.
April 25, 2012
Casino Royale (2006)
If Brosnan's bond career is any indication about Craigs, this will be his best film and it will slowly go down from there. That being said, this is one action packed film and a great start.
April 25, 2012
Die Another Day (2002)
While the Halle Berry Dr. No-bikini-throwback was a nice touch , there was little else to get excited for in this film. The bad guy was a little twat with daddy issues and no one wants a thug whose face sparkles (unless you are a teenage girl and the thug is a vampire)
April 24, 2012
The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Very average. I would say this movie is the beginning of a handful of very poorly done bond films. It is a shame that a franchise that has made 22 films, most of them very enjoyable, is struggling under MGM.
April 23, 2012
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
A good second film for Brosnan. It had everything that one wants in a bond movie, including one bad ass underwater missile.
April 23, 2012
GoldenEye (1995)
Without getting into the Connery/Brosnan debate, I think that this was one of the best bond films to date. It had everything from an epic intro, to chase scenes to a kinky russian who liked to be Onatopp. A great watch.
April 23, 2012
All About Steve (2009)
I will admit that I dislike chick flicks. I will rate them lower than other people because I have no time or energy for them. But this movie was just plain bad. Bullock's character is weird and annoying, the story was weak, and it just made you feel uncomfortable. Don't watch it.
April 20, 2012
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Guy Ritchie at his best. This movie takes a look at how one event can affect different groups in very different (and in this case hilarious) ways. Plus it has Vinnie Jones, and he is the Juggernaut bitch.
April 19, 2012
V for Vendetta (2006)
I really enjoyed this film. I thought it stayed true to the graphic novel, while giving a 1984 vibe throughout the whole film.
April 17, 2012
Innerspace (1987)
A decent movie, all things considered. Martin Short is over the top, but still likable. A great 80's movie that is entertaining in it's quirky way.
April 16, 2012
Five Minutes of Heaven (2009)
I watched this movie expecting Liam Neeson the badass, and unfortunately he did not show up. This is a decent movie if you aren't expecting taken v2.0, but you have to be in the right mind set when you watch it.
March 22, 2012
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
This movie rested it's balls on my chin, and brushed my teeth with its dick.
March 22, 2012
Taken (2008)
Liam Neeson is a badass. This movie is just pure awesomeness. Only Neeson can make looking for your daughter super cool.
March 22, 2012
Legal Eagles (1986)
All in all this was a very average movie, with average acting, and an average plot. Redford does a good job, but his counterpart (Debra Winger) was kinda annoying
March 19, 2012
Source Code (2011)
It is very hard to have a movie that is so repetitive and keep the audience engaged. Source Code did a pretty good job of having enough mystery involved that you were constantly looking for more clues as to what is going on.
March 8, 2012
Step Brothers (2008)
A typical Ferrell comedy. It had its moments, the only problem was the jokes were few and far between. I do enjoy a mindless comedy every now and then, but this was just hard to sit through.
March 6, 2012
Goon (2012)
I have no recollection of watching this movie thanks to copious amounts of beer. I remember saying that it was the greatest movie i've seen in over a year, so that has to say something. So how do you rate a movie one only enjoys drunk?
February 27, 2012
District 9 (2009)
This is one of the best movies of 2009. It was gritty futuristic portrayal of a very dark time in South African history. The movie struck a chord with me as it reminded me of the book "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka. A really well done film and a must watch.
February 21, 2012
Mallrats (1995)
This is one funny movie. Jason Lee's character is brash, geeky and laugh out loud funny. He asks intelligent questions that work on so many different levels. Such as "Can Mr. Fantastic stretch out his wiener as well as his body?".
February 21, 2012
Serenity (2005)
The first time I watched this movie I hadn't seen the TV series firefly and thought it was incredibly average. But after watching the TV, this movie will now always be a favorite of mine. What makes this series special is not the plot or theme, but the characters.
February 17, 2012
I.O.U.S.A. (2008)
An eye opener about the debt problems in the USA. Very scary figures and ones that are only going to get worse unless significant change is implemented.
February 6, 2012
Oldboy (2003)
I am not sure how I feel about this movie. On one hand, it was very engaging and an incredibly well done film. You form a real connection with the main character and feel his pain. On the other, it was emotionally disturbing and just plain weird.
February 2, 2012
Toy Story 3 (2010)
It just shows how fast things get dated, be it toys or even movies. But this is one franchise that should stand the test of time.
January 31, 2012
Toy Story (1995)
A heartfelt movie that shows how the most unlikeliest of people can find common ground and become true friends.
January 31, 2012
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
I am amazed at Lucas' ability to ruin trilogies. On the plus side, I now know that if ever one was caught in a nuclear bomb testing facility by accident, you can survive by hiding in a fridge.
January 27, 2012
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Ford and Connery knock it out of the park with this one. Ford cements his legacy by being in two of the greatest trilogies of all time.
January 27, 2012
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
The only thing I didn't understand is why there was a tiny little asian kid, named shortstop, running around with Dr. Jones. He was better suited for the Goonies.
January 27, 2012
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
A history prof at a university who runs around finding lost treasure and beating up nazi's. What more do you need?
January 27, 2012
Back to the Future Part III (1990)
The western theme of this movie was entertaining and provided new challenges for our hero, Marty McFly, to overcome. It ended one of my favorite trilogies of all time. They will not win best picture, but in terms of pure enjoyment, these are at the top.
January 26, 2012
Back to the Future Part II (1989)
How do you follow up a film as good as BTTF 1? By going back to November 5th, 1955!
January 26, 2012
Back to the Future (1985)
A perfect almost-paradox-free little bundle of joy. This film will always be one of my favorites.
January 26, 2012
Terminator Salvation (2009)
Even with Cristian Bale, a CG Arnold, and explosions up the ying yang... the only word that describes this movie is "meh".
January 23, 2012
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
I am going to say that this is the best machine vs. machine movie out there. Transformers and real steel have nothing on arnold vs. liquid metal.
January 23, 2012
The Terminator (1984)
Little known fact, if you take the letters from skynet, and remove all but the e, and add a g,o,o,g,l you get google. coincidence... I think not.
January 23, 2012
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
As what happens in most action series, the latest one is always bigger budgets and more explosions (just ask Micheal Bay). My only qualm is going from the BAMF of Samuel L. to the wimp Justin Long.
January 19, 2012
Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
I really enjoyed the third installment of the die hard series. They changed it up from the templates they used with the first two and brought a film that wasn't totally predictable.
January 19, 2012
Die Hard 2 (1990)
Not a bad movie, but it was a lot like every other action movie out there. No flair in this one.
January 19, 2012
Die Hard (1988)
Bruce Willis is the ultimate action hero in this movie. He is a one man wrecking crew that is able to take on an entire terrorist organization without any shoes.
January 19, 2012
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Portman and Christensen are annoying and the only thing that makes this film tolerable is the last 5 minutes of the film where you see a glimpse into the past (or future) and see the gems that were the first (or last) three movies.
January 18, 2012
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
How can a man who made such great films produce something this bad? I cannot respect him as an all time great for the brain farts he had when deciding to continue the star wars franchise.
January 18, 2012
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
While there are worse film in the world out there that I would rate higher than a 5, this rating is for what this movie stands for, and that is the death of the greatest series in the universe. Lucas took a perfect trilogy (which in itself is incredibly hard to do) and shat on it
January 18, 2012
Return of the Jedi (1983)
A movie that always makes me sad to watch. This trilogy has given me so much joy throughout the years and this film is, like its predecessors, just phenomenal. But this is the ending and all we have left are the bullshit prequels and the memories of what star wars was before 1999
January 18, 2012
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
This is arguably the best film in the best trilogy on the market right now. Nuff' said.
January 18, 2012
Star Wars (1977)
How do you write a review that encompasses the importance of this film and trilogy in 250 characters or less? When I watched this film as a kid, I had never enjoyed a film as much and this film sparked my love for movies.
January 18, 2012
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
I assume they only made this because someone thought that a trilogy sounded better than a duology.
January 18, 2012
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
This franchise went from top of the hill, to what should have been straight to DVD (or VHS).
January 18, 2012
The Matrix (1999)
This film took a very common philosophical view (are we really here right now) and took a modern spin on it with our advancement in technology and gave us a film that was not only action packed, but also kept you thinking long after the credits stopped rolling.
January 18, 2012
The Dark Knight (2008)
I was one of the people who thought that Nolan couldn't make a film better than his first, I thought that Heath would be an awful joker, and I have never been so wrong. This was one of the most emotionally captivating films I have ever seen.
January 18, 2012
Batman Begins (2005)
Christopher Nolan took over the Batman series and made it so that no one is looking back to the Burton / Schumacher films.
January 18, 2012
Batman & Robin (1997)
O'Donnell returns to show us that once again, no one likes robin. But the fact that you get Arnold Schwarzeneger playing Mr. Freeze more than makes up for it. He was one cool Villain. Makes one wonder how he handled the heat being the "Governator" of Cali?
January 18, 2012
Batman Forever (1995)
Firstly, no one really likes robin and Kilmer is arguably the worst batman. The only two movies that Jim Carrey is good in is Eternal Sunshine and The Truman Show (and this is neither). But Tommy Lee did a decent Two Face and who can really not like Batman?
January 18, 2012
Batman Returns (1992)
Keaton returns to face a villain you laugh at and respect at the same time (the amazing DeVito). While this movie didn't live up to its predecessor, Burton did a good job at bringing us into his vision of what Gotham would be like. Also, Christopher Walken!
January 18, 2012
Batman (1989)
It is hard to watch this movie post 2008 with Christopher Nolan's adaptation of Batman vs Joker and not compare Nichoson to Ledger, but this movie is a well made classic that started the batman series off on the right foot.
January 18, 2012
Limitless (2011)
An average movie with an average idea. It is not a terrible watch, but it struggles to keep the viewers attention and form any sort of emotional bond with the protagonist.
January 16, 2012
Moneyball (2011)
In the past 10 years there has been a fundamental shift in how teams go about their business. Many teams are playing a purely numbers game, and this is most evident in baseball. This movie is a must watch for all sports fans and everyone else.
January 13, 2012
The Other Guys (2010)
I hated this movie. It was not funny, way too long, the characters were not likable and it was just painful to sit through.
January 12, 2012
The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
A perfect mixture of Uncharted, Indiana Jones and Nostalgia.
January 12, 2012
Ice Twisters (2009)
Without giving too much away, tiny storm robots create ice twisters and the fate of the world lies in the hands of a fiction writer. Should this first world problem happen in real life, I'm sure Dan Brown, Stephen King and J.K. Rowling will form the real life avengers!
January 11, 2012
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)
A predictable script with awful CG effects. The only surprise in the whole movie was Steve Urkel.
January 11, 2012
30 Minutes or Less (2011)
This movie is enjoyable with some funny moments, but not re-watchable.
January 11, 2012
A Few Good Men (1992)
You want the truth about this movie!?!?.... It's actually quite good.
January 10, 2012
Contagion (2011)
An interesting movie that gives a realistic portrayal to a plausible threat.
January 5, 2012
The Muppets (2011)
If you could bottle pure happiness and put that on screen, you would have the muppets movie.
January 4, 2012
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
This is arguably one of the worst movies of all time. I have seen things in the toilet that I have had more emotional attachment to than the garbage that was walking around on screen.
January 4, 2012
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Underneath the dark and grimy exterior is a very polished and refined film. Fincher stays true to the book, and with the help of Rooney Mara, delivers one of the better films of 2011.
January 3, 2012
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
A well thought out mystery that is enhanced by the comedic duo of RDJ and Kilmer. This is a great comedy that was under-appreciated in 2005.
December 29, 2011
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
How has the mission impossible franchise been able to continue since they haven't had a good movie since the first one. The dialogue in this was so bad that it must have been written by 12 year old or Tom Cruise himself.
December 29, 2011
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
From the song "lick my love pump" to the 18 inch Stonehenge model, this movie kicks it up all the way to 11.
December 28, 2011
Tooth Fairy (2010)
The review for "Tooth Fairy" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Fairy".
December 28, 2011
Memento (2000)
Masterpiece a, put simply. Amnesia anterograde with someone of eyes the through story the portray to able is Nolan where film brilliant a.
December 28, 2011
Avatar (2009)
looking past the whining characters, the hair sex and the annoying deus ex machina, this is pocahontas for 161 minutes. Special effects enhance a movie experience, they shouldn't drive it.
December 14, 2011
Planet of the Apes (1968)
A great film that tackles religion vs science and how the two have evolved.
December 12, 2011
I Love You, Man (2009)
Brovechkin, Bro-bi wan Kenobi and Broseidon would give this an A+.
December 12, 2011
Super 8 (2011)
For a movie that is about making a movie, they did not follow their own instructions.
December 12, 2011
Primer (2004)
When looking at the "Space Time Continuum" within movies, it is too easy to find paradoxes. That is not the case with Primer where it is almost too neat and tidy for such a complex topic.
December 12, 2011
Jurassic Park (1993)
From the epic soundtrack, to being chased by a T-Rex, this is a classic that will never go extinct.
December 12, 2011